it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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