Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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