I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
When are your genitals available?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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