brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im about as happy as oj after his trial
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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