If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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