I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
