Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
