yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't turn off my feet"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
