he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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