In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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