its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
