i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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