Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
