New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
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I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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