I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
