ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize