There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize