apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
