I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
