Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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