Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
