the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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