just come out here and I will go home with you...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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