I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
