i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
