In the future we'll all be gay
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
