I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
