Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Randomize
