im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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