My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
