Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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