Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You left your phone here
Wait...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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