Yo dont text me then not text me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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