so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
