Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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