Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
