fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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