I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
