Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
