hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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