I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
