im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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