8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
