Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
