i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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