Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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