i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
