Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
