Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
