I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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