I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize