So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
