Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
