im drinking this country out of the recession.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
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When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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