apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize