just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
