i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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