Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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