Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
