So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
